1. You’re spending way more than you can afford and thinking that it ‘will be worth it in the end’.
Let me relieve you of that notion- no it won’t be. Money is one of the major issues couples argue over. Starting your marriage off with the burden of financial problems caused by poor decision-making is one sure-fire way to sink the ship before it can even leave the dock.
Maybe you’re thinking that it won’t be so bad– that with two incomes you’ll manage to survive the spending binge that took over the wedding. Not without self-restraint, proper budgeting practices and some humility- and let’s face it, chances are if you didn’t have those things to begin with-you’re not going to develop them overnight either.
See your wedding as a litmus test on how you as a couple will deal with your financial responsibilities and decide now what tone you’re going to set for the rest of your future. If you were an employee given the responsibility of managing your first project and on a set budget- I imagine you would want to do the best job you can using what you have- this is no different. Use the same qualities you would in that scenario- think creatively, work smart and stay focused! It’s a way better pay-off than a having a wedding you can’t afford!
2. The number of guests keeps swelling and you can’t stop the tide.
Yes you can- you just don’t want to. After the wedding, when you look back through your albums, who do you want to see in those pics having a great time at your wedding- eating the food you paid for and dancing on the tables that were so painstakingly decorated? Start with whoever that is and end right there. It’s as simple as that. Your wedding is not a charity giving away meals (hey charities are great but your wedding just isn’t one), it’s a time for you and your spouse to be surrounded by people who are committed to loving and supporting you through your journey together.
Loved it when wedding planner Brian Green of F&G Events put it like this at the recent Forever I Do Expo– if whoever is on your list is not someone you would invite into your future home- why in the world would you invite them to your wedding? Tackle that issue, and it’s easier to avoid the over-spending.
Now, for those whose parents are footing the bill and feel under obligation to invite XYZ because of that- totally understandable- but there’s nothing wrong with raising any concerns you may have if you don’t want to be surrounded by a sea of strangers or by people who don’t care about you. In our Caribbean culture, it can be particularly difficult for people to feel comfortable doing that- out of respect for our elders- but, respect is a two-way street and if your parents do love and respect you, they will at least hear you out.
3. You’re trying to do too much in a short space of time
Now- it’s great that you want to avoid spending too much- don’t shoot yourself in the foot by going about it the wrong way. I was a DIY loving bride and I started many of my projects at least eight months before the wedding because I knew I wanted to have time to fuss and play with the ideas, the tools and materials at my fingertips.
I also knew that between working and planning a wedding, my free time would be limited so it was better to space out everything with a schedule of tasks. In my time as a wedding blogger I’ve run across hundreds- maybe thousands- of DIY weddings featured on some of the top wedding blogs globally and the one common thread running through these gorgeous weddings was the fact that the brides prioritized their time well. Figure out your ‘time budget’ and work with it.
Also- re-think trying to DIY when it’s something you hate to do in the first place. It’s easy to feel pressured by the DIY movement but it doesn’t make sense to join the party if you’re not going to enjoy it. Find artistic and crafty friends who are willing to help with one or two things and if you’re still set on doing the rest why not ask your bridesmaids to help you and throw small get-togethers where you can chat, laugh and craft in no time at all? It will feel a lot less like a chore to resent.
Of course there are many mistakes we can make as brides and sometimes there’s little we can do about it, but it’s always worth it to try to avoid the ones that can hurt us the most!
